Today more than ever it is necessary to improve our relationships and communication processes within organizations and society, to pay attention to the values of the people and their communication processes.
People who improve in professional life also improve in private life.
The behavior is always governed by criteria of usefulness, by implementing the correct one it is possible to achieve a goal.
Behind the behavior there is a positive intention that leads to a goal.
This is the essence of communication.
NLP provides tools and strategies useful to those who want to improve their performance and want to live better the situations and the everyday life, enhancing the capabilities that allow to achieve the goals and overcoming the limitations that hold us back.
What is NLP
The Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) is a model for the study and interpretation of human potential. It provides techniques, tools, rules, patterns and ideas to improve their personal and professional lives, to be more self-confident.
NLP helps you to find the motivation, to change unwanted behaviors, to control the emotions.
With NLP you learn not to dwell on your failures and on your mistakes, but to look for viable solutions and opportunities in every situation.
The NLP, which is an integration of psychology, linguistics, systems theory and cybernetics. It helps to improve our ability to understand ourselves, to understand the others and be understood, in a nutshell it helps to improve our performance.
The neuro-linguistic programming is based on the study of what happens within individuals when they grow and they experience. The term programming tells you how to program the necessary sequences to achieve specific results.
Each behavior has its own structure and it can be modified and improved.
The word neuro means that the behavior is the result of a neurological process.
Finally, the term linguistic indicates that the structure of neurological processes is obtained through three different levels of language:
- verbal language (10%: the one of words);
- the para-verbal language (40%: the type of voice, volume, pitch, speed);
- body language (50%: posture, breathing, skin color, movement).
When we communicate something, very often make the mistake of worrying too much about the content of the words and so we forget that we are talking with a person who perceive our movements, tone and accent of our voice, our posture and our movements.
What’s the use of NLP
As the computer (electronic brain), even our brain is programmed by the experiences we have during our lives.
What we do depends on the programs that were installed in our brain that allow us to unconsciously react and behave in a certain way to the stimuli and the experiences that we live.
We can re-program our brains, eliminating programs that create negative behaviors and installing new programs that allow us to enhance our skills and more easily reach our goals.
The neurological process
The interpretation of experience contributes to the construction of a belief and the belief may affect future experiences, both in positive and negative way.
So it happens that very strong and deep-rooted beliefs produce automatic behaviors even when we know that to behave in that way is negative, counterproductive, unsatisfactory and harmful. The way we experience depends on how we represent that experience through the development of information with our representational systems and more we continue to represent with this system the more we reinforce that meaning (positive or negative).
Modifying the system description of an experience, we change the representation of the experience itself as well the memory.
This fact will affect the way in which we live the same experience in the future.
The communication process
The communication process is a recursive and retroactive process of transmission and reception in which our response (output) influences the subsequent issue of our party, which in turn affects our response.
So, in the communication process we influence our stakeholders and their reaction affects our subsequent behavior… and so on.
There are several ways to communicate, to think and to express very different from ours, but equally valid.
Being able to understand and pigs on the same wavelength of others facilitate communication.
In a difficult communication, such as during a fight, no matter what or who has originated but it is better, at some point, begin to communicate with awareness rather than automatically react to the stimuli.
Therefore, if my communication has not produced the desired result it is my communication to be changed and it is not the fault of the recipient who did not understand.
It is my job to find a more suitable way to communicate to the recipient so that my message is getting through to him with the same connotation and the same meaning that it has for me.
Pick up the signals and calibrating the communication
The ability to understand and calibrate the signals that the person we are communicating with send us, allows us to modify and direct our communication in the right direction, making the other person realize he is understood.
For example, if our interlocutor is thrilling for what we are saying, we can continue with our indifferent and fearless speech, but the person will be distracted and absorbed in their own thoughts, with the result that we have sent nothing and he will think that we are insensitive .
If we calibrate and modify our speech and maybe change the subject, the person will regain serenity and attention and will not give the impression of being focused only on ourselves.
We can calibrate our behavior as we do whit the communication.
Reflect the behavior of the others opens the doors of the communication and permit to create an easy way on which to move. People who feel good together have instinctive behaviors of mirroring.